My mind was full of unanswered questions, frustrations and a feeling of being all alone.
Stepping out the door into the drizzle of the soft rain drops, I walked down our little dirt road, pouring my heart out to my Father.
I suddenly noticed the wildflowers blooming all around in their grand array of color, and simple beauty. As I gathered them, I said aloud, "oh dear Father, your love for me is written everywhere!" So much You have done for me...
I lifted my eyes to the dark clouds above, saying, "oh what can I do in return?"
'All I desire is your heart.'
My eyes still lifted to the sky... Hot tears now uncontrollably streaming down my cold cheeks.
'I know it's hard. There's those things that you desire that you wonder if I would give you.'
'But my child, I created you, I know what you need more than you do.'
'I love you.'
And then it hit me..
"Delight thyself also in the Lord..."
"And He shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
His hearts desire and mine combined.
When they are, we long for the same things.
Falling on my knees in the wet gravel...
'Here it is Father, its all Yours to keep.'
"He was better to me than all my hopes;
He was better than all my fears;
He made a bridge of my broken works,
And a rainbow of my tears.
"The billows that guarded my sea-girt path,
But carried my Lord on their crest;
When I dwell on the days of my wilderness march
I can lean on His love for the rest.
"He emptied my hands of my treasured store,
And His covenant love revealed,
There was not a wound in my aching heart,
But the balm of His breath hath healed.
Oh, tender and true was the chastening sore,
In wisdom, that taught and tried,
Till the soul that He sought was trusting in Him,
And nothing on earth beside.
"He guided by paths that I could not see,
By ways that I have not known;
The crooked was straight, and the rough was plain
As I followed the Lord alone.
I praise Him still for the pleasant palms,
And the water-springs by the way,
For the glowing pillar of flame by night,
And the sheltering cloud by day.
"Never a watch on the dreariest halt,
But some promise of love endears;
I read from the past, that my future shall be
Far better than all my fears.
Like the golden pot, of the wilderness bread,
Laid up with the blossoming rod,
All safe in the ark, with the law of the Lord,
Is the, covenant care of my God."