I wondered why God hadn't seen fit to answer my prayers earlier that morning. I had prayed for a special day. After-all, it was my last day Canvassing, so why did today have to be so hard? I had prayed for a certain Book goal, and I hadn't even sold a third of what I asked for... In fact it was my lowest day of the whole program!
But perhaps not the lowest day after all.... Just in another way. Let me tell you why.
After the man gave me a cup full of change for a little Steps to Christ , and another what money he could spare for a Great controversy, I remembered that God sees the big picture. And though He hadn't seen best to answer my prayer that day in the way I thought He should, He had an even better plan, of which perhaps I won't understand till eternity. And at the thought, I couldn't help but smile, as I continued down my long, wet street.
My mind wandered back to a Sabbath not long ago, sitting in Church with my little brother perched on my lap, putting a puzzle together of Daniel in the lions den. He was tired, and a little cranky. As I handed him each puzzle piece, he put it in its proper place. But there was one piece he was sure went in this particular place, and so kept shoving it in, only to find again that it didn't work. As I gently tried to show him it was upside down, it just seemed to frustrate him more! Finally, he let me show him, and then he understood...
And that made me think of how many times I try to fit a giant-life sized puzzle piece in a particular way... and it just doesn't work... even though it seems like it should go this way. And then my patient, all knowing Father takes it from my hand, and shows me gently it was "upside down" from the beautiful picture He's had in mind all along. And only when I give that giant puzzle piece into His hand, can the picture be complete in all its glory.
Ever since I was little I've always struggled with a certain concept. How could God love me sooo much? I can remember as a little girl laying out on the grass, looking up into the sky, feeling like He was so far away, and wondering what He was like... wondering if He could see me there, and how much He really loved me.
The more I strive to know Him, the more I begin to understand His love. And the more I learn to trust Him, the more I've learned to surrender it all to His hands.. even those things I used to labor over, but realized it was all upside down according to the masterpiece He had in mind. It's honestly awesome to put it in His hands and watch and wait for the picture to unfold in His way!
This statement of His love even still continues to blow my mind though, and perhaps I will never fully understand. I can see Him smiling at my innocent weak comprehension!
"The relations between God and each soul are as distinct and full as though there were not another soul upon the earth to share His watchcare." Steps to Christ p. 100
Yeah, so is it just me, or is this a thought that stretches your brain too?
Why did I ever think I couldn't trust Him?