What about Jesus?

December 24, 2012

What about Jesus?

My mind has been swimming in a whirl of organizing, planning, writing, asking, remembering, emailing, calling...

And even yet, the pressing demands seem to never end....

But something else has changed....

Last month I organized a "Youth Sabbath" at our church, the whole service was done by the youth. Then this month, I organized a Christmas Program at our small church. It was a totally new experience. I shed a few tears... breathed many a desperate prayer, when I thought everything looked completely impossible. He has been there for me all along, even when I was too busy to really include Him in it all.

As I sat there, on the pew, watching the weeks of planning unfold before my eyes.... Listening to the familiar words of the Christmas story I had prepared, being told. The many beautiful music pieces, the stories, the sweet little children performing their parts, the offering that was taken up for the less fortunate.... Then the ending talk... "What can I give Him?" I sat dazed, tears inside.. my throat choked up with a foreign lump that wouldn't go away...

'Have I, in my bustle, and hurry, of planning and organizing, forgotten the whole purpose of this?' I rested my weary, aching head on my Mommy's shoulder, and closed my eyes.....

'Oh Jesus, forgive me!' I cried inside.

How could I leave Him for last? Give Him only a few minutes of my time, when He has poured Himself out for me? Every hour of His life was spent for me...

In the beginning, I had thought I was spending time with Him. I mean, hadn't I been doing a work for Him after all? But, I just never seemed to have real and lasting peace of heart, and mind. I seemed to hear His voice calling softly, at the height of my busyness "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things..." 'You seek to serve me, and to prepare everything just right, but you forget to sit at my feet, to drink in my words, to learn of Me, to spend time with Me.... The one and only thing that really matters to Me most....

I felt the crushing weight of conviction pressing on my heart. Yes, I have been like Martha. I had forgotten Jesus. Even though I worked so hard to serve Him, (Or so I thought) Yet He missed me.... And I missed Him.

I determined in my heart to give Him the best gift this year.

My time.

To sit at His feet. Listen for His voice. To let my heart be still, and know my God...

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Tonight - Christmas eve, My family and I, along with some friends went to see Him... Hungry, cold, lonely, sad... "the least"