Monday, October 28, 2013

Losing Self Confidence { To Hang Everything On His Word }

I pulled on my trusty old, 9 dollar canvassing shoes, zipped up my jacket, and stepped out into the stormy night. My faithful kitty following closely by my heels. The stars above me strained to shine through the thin layer of clouds. The wind tossed locks of hair this way and that, and tickled my face.


I sought clearness of mind.


I sought a moment of peace with my Jesus.


He always knows how to still my storms.


As I sat in my favorite little quiet place, listening to the wind howl through the tree tops, I started telling Jesus about all the things in life that perplex my mind, and cause me to feel tossed about, like a little boat on the waves, with no hope of destination, or purpose. Then another storm that happened so long ago, on a lake, came to mind. It almost came alive, as I heard trees falling in the woods nearby, and the wind biting my cheeks, and penetrating through my thin jacket.


It had been one of the greatest disappointments that day, that the Disciples had yet faced. It all seemed so strange to them. 'Why had Jesus turned down the position of being the King of Jerusalem?' They were beyond discouraged, that lonely night out on the lake. But soon their sorrows were swallowed up with fear, and a struggle for life, as the waves roared, and splashed into their tiny fishing boat, threatening to take their lives. Then suddenly, they saw a strange, glowing form, making it's way towards them, WALKING UPON THE WAVES! They were stricken with an even greater fear of this, than of the waves! But Jesus knowing their fear, said to them in His soft, tender voice:


“...Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.” Matthew 14:27




Peter, Always the one to speak his mind, was the first to regain his voice:


“..Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” Verse 28


Jesus next word, was all that Peter needed. All that he needed, whatever came his way, he could hang everything on this word...


“Come.”


In my Bible, that word stands apart from all the others, highlighted in red. It was Jesus' only reply. And it was all that peter needed.




We all know the rest of the story.. How Peter turned his eyes back to the boat in self confidence, 'I can do this' sort of way, and then began to sink, as a wave came between him and Jesus.


I feel like peter so often.


I can be quite stubborn, most of the time, like Peter. I think I can do it myself. But there have been so many times, that Jesus shows me gently, like Peter that night, that I actually can't.


How I want to lose all self confidence, and hang my helpless soul on Jesus word, “Come”.


No matter what wave may dim my view, nothing can change the word of my Father!

My dear Jesus, I Come...



“Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.”